Revenge of Appendix Three: Corporeals

More filler posts! The plotline is still developing on Twitter, and I will make a post here only when I think it’s far enough. While you’re waiting for that, I’ll drop another filler post with more of the old stuff – this time Corporeals, based on D&D Githyanki/Githzerai which I tied to Warcraft’s Ethereals.

Revenge of Appendix Three: Giant Nether Hamsters

Continuing with more filler posts until the WoD alpha gets rolling again! This time we have another of my old “Revenge of Appendix Three” posts reposted here. I particularly enjoyed writing this one. The original text after the jump.

Revenge of Appendix Three: Nethersages

I think I owe everyone a short explanation of what this is. Once on Scrolls of Lore I did a short “segment” where I tried to convert various D&D creatures to fit World of WarCraft universe. Because that’s exactly what the infamous Appendix Three of the old Warcraft RPG did, I named that segment “Revenge of Appendix Three”. Since I posted those, Warlords of Draenor was announced and changed some stuff that made some of the propositions impossible, but other ones remain still very fitting. I’m going to post a few select favorites from there here to reintroduce some of my newer followers to what I liked doing back then. After the break follows the original text I posted some time ago.

Frostfire Ridge

Recently, Krasha reactivated some kind of magical rift he once had in his basement. I am told he used this to get into some other timeline that he then couldn’t get out of. Naturally, I doubted at least a large part of the story he told us, as did everyone else. Would you believe if your absent-minded employer told you a story about how he saved an alternate timeline and personally healed Jaina Proudmoore from a poison inflicted on her by Kel’thuzad himself? It sounds like a pretty tall story… until you get to realize it’s all true. Or at least it’s mostly true, as I recently had the chance to experience this alternate timeline, albeit from a completely different angle.

Tower of Krasha Management Chat

* BlackViperUldum (blackviper@lostcityreclamators.gov.ul) has joined
<@Arakkoa> “Black Viper of Uldum”?
<BlackViperUldum> What? It’s a nickname.
<@Arakkoa> But “Black Viper of Uldum”?
<BlackViperUldum> Yes.
<@Arakkoa> What does it even mean? Wait, I don’t want to know.
* Arakkoa gives voice to BlackViperUldum
<+BlackViperUldum> It is for the best.
* YuGwai (yugwai@humanoid.net) has joined
<YuGwai> Greetings
<@Arakkoa> Oh, you. I didn’t know you knew how to use these things.
<YuGwai> I know many things you would not expect.
* PacifistOgre (lunk14@ogresite.com) has joined
<PacifistOgre> Hi
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry Lunk late Lunk connect wrong channel
<@Arakkoa> I didn’t say I need you here necessarily.
<PacifistOgre> It okay Lunk often un neseccairly
<+BlackViperUldum> Oh, Lunk. That’s a surprise.
<YuGwai> Yeah, the ogre that just ran off despite having a job.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry Lunk hard soul
<@Arakkoa> A what again?
<+BlackViperUldum> I think he means “an uneasy soul”.
<@Arakkoa> Great, now I need to translate him from Common to Common.
<@Arakkoa> Correction: I always needed to translate him from Common to Common.
<+BlackViperUldum> I believe the formal term is Low Common.
<PacifistOgre> Low Common no longer cannon it from book
<@Arakkoa> Okay, let’s get on our topic. Where’s Hwarne? I need her now.
<+BlackViperUldum> I’ll try to get her here.
* Hwarne (hwarne@mail.com) has joined
<Hwarne> What the squawking squawk is up with this network?
<Hwarne> It wouldn’t let me put “ë” in the name.
<PacifistOgre> Hey penguin
<@Arakkoa> Glad to see you to, Hwarne. You seem well.
<Hwarne> I’m not squawking well. This squawking thing won’t let me put my proper name in.
<+BlackViperUldum> It is pointless to dwell on now.
<Hwarne> And don’t call me a penguin.
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, Menrim’s right. Let’s get to the topic.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry
<@Arakkoa> GET TO THE TOPIC
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry
<@Arakkoa> Stop saying sorry!
<PacifistOgre> Sorry
<@Arakkoa> …
<+BlackViperUldum> What mr. Krasha is saying is we need to acquire certain technology.
<@Arakkoa> Yeah
<@Arakkoa> We found some blueprints with Menrim.
<@Arakkoa> Blueprints for a golem my people used to build long ago.
<PacifistOgre> Small snail say Lunk big snail is daddy
<@Arakkoa> Lunk, concentrate
<PacifistOgre> Okay
<@Arakkoa> But we need a special power core to power it.
<@Arakkoa> They don’t make these kinds of power cores anymore, and sindorei one didn’t work.
<PacifistOgre> Hnnnnnnng
<+BlackViperUldum> …
<@Arakkoa> What the squawk are you doing?
<PacifistOgre> Lunk is concentrating
<Hwarne> OMG
<@Arakkoa> But why are you typing “hnnng”?
<PacifistOgre> That what you type when concetranting no?
<@Arakkoa> No.
<PacifistOgre> So what you type when cocentrating?
<@Arakkoa> Nothing. You stay quiet.
<PacifistOgre> Okay
<YuGwai> Do I really need to be here?
<@Arakkoa> No.
<Hwarne> CAN WE GET BACK ON TOPIC
<@Arakkoa> Yes, we can. Shut up.
<@Arakkoa> Where was I?
<Hwarne> It’s literally a few lines above your current one.
<@Arakkoa> I said shut up.
<@Arakkoa> So we need an arakkoa golem’s power core.
<@Arakkoa> The sindorei one clearly didn’t work.
<YuGwai> I can still feel the smell of that one from the basement.
<@Arakkoa> I thought you didn’t want to be here.
<YuGwai> Do I have to leave then?
<@Arakkoa> No, it’s the gronn’s shift now.
<Hwarne> GET BACK TO THE TOPIC
<@Arakkoa> I’m the moderator here, Hwarne.
<@Arakkoa> Anyway
<@Arakkoa> I thought we could use the power core from an Eye of Terokk
<+BlackViperUldum> That was actually my idea.
<@Arakkoa> Yes, yes.
<@Arakkoa> But I have only one, and there are very few of those left.
<Hwarne> And you want me to buy one.
<@Arakkoa> I didn’t say anything.
<Hwarne> But you were about to.
<PacifistOgre> Can Lunk speak now?
<@Arakkoa> No.
<@Arakkoa> To both of you.
<@Arakkoa> So I need to acquire another Eye of Terokk.
<Hwarne> And you want me to get it.
<@Arakkoa> I said NO
<@Arakkoa> You can’t buy one of those anywhere. They’re so bloody rare.
<+BlackViperUldum> I bet you could find one on the Black Market.
<@Arakkoa> Those things are pretty much legendary these days.
<@Arakkoa> What makes you think you could find one on the Black Market?
<+BlackViperUldum> I heard someone say he bought a Plagued Proto-Drake mount from the Black Market.
<@Arakkoa> I wasn’t speaking of that kind of Black Market.
<+BlackViperUldum> But I was.
<+BlackViperUldum> Look, I’m saying these pandaren have all kinds of weird things to sell.
<YuGwai> Like grubs they eat. Yuck.
<@Arakkoa> Hey, grubs can be pretty tasty if prepared correctly.
<YuGwai> Nope. Who eats grubs?
<@Arakkoa> I do.
<YuGwai> I mean apart from Pandaren
<YuGwai> Oh
<+BlackViperUldum> I did hear some good recipes for grubs.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk have some grub recipes
<PacifistOgre> Grubs best well roasted
<PacifistOgre> It lot of protein
<PacifistOgre> But you no kill grubs!
<@Arakkoa> No, I’m sure we’d just find them lying around dead.
<PacifistOgre> Yaaay!
<Hwarne> OH MY GODS
<@Arakkoa> How does that even work with you? So are you a vegetarian or not?
<PacifistOgre> veggy tarian? Lunk know what veggy but not remember tarian
<+BlackViperUldum> It means you only eat food of plant origin.
<+BlackViperUldum> Or mushrooms, I guess.
<PacifistOgre> Oh
<@Arakkoa> I’m asking if you eat meat
<PacifistOgre> If it good
<@Arakkoa> But you know you have to kill animals to get meat?
<PacifistOgre> No?
<+BlackViperUldum> You do. How would you extract meat from a living animal?
<YuGwai> I bet I could do that.
<Hwarne> I’m going to get out of my own skin and stand next to myself.
<+BlackViperUldum> That’s gross
<+BlackViperUldum> Both of you
<PacifistOgre> But if you not kill animal
<PacifistOgre> If it just dead not killed
<PacifistOgre> Maybe then you get meat?
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, good luck with that.
<PacifistOgre> Thanks
<Hwarne> SERIOUSLY PEOPLE
<+BlackViperUldum> So you eat carrion?
<PacifistOgre> Carri… it not TV show?
<@Arakkoa> No.
<PacifistOgre> Oh
<+BlackViperUldum> I mean you eat only meat from animals that died naturally.
<PacifistOgre> Yea that sound rite
<Hwarne> FINE
<@Arakkoa> Either way, we don’t need to concern ourselves with that anymore.
<Hwarne> YOU GOT ME
<@Arakkoa> The tuskarr cook is doing everything any of us could desire.
<Hwarne> I’M GOING TO GO AND BUY THE SQUAWKING EYE OF TEROKK AND GET IT HERE
* Hwarne (hwarne@mail.com) has left
<@Arakkoa> What was that about?
<+BlackViperUldum> I think he got angry with our discussion being off-topic.
<YuGwai> She
<@Arakkoa> Whatever
<@Arakkoa> What were we talking about again?
<PacifistOgre> Food
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, but before that.
<PacifistOgre> Snail
<YuGwai> So food.
<@Arakkoa> Oh, yeah, the power core.
<@Arakkoa> I guess he’s buying it now?
<@Arakkoa> She
<+BlackViperUldum> It would seem so.
<@Arakkoa> Fine.
<@Arakkoa> Anyone needs anything else with me?
<+BlackViperUldum> No. I would want to return to my duties now.
<@Arakkoa> Fine, go.
<+BlackViperUldum> Till next we meet.
* BlackViperUldum (blackviper@lostcityreclamators.gov.ul) has left
<@Arakkoa> Which is in five minutes.
<YuGwai> I’ll be going as well.
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, go do your… turtle business.
* YuGwai sighs
* YuGwai (yugwai@humanoid.net) has left
<PacifistOgre> Snail really talk to Lunk
<PacifistOgre> It some time talk in funny language
<@Arakkoa> Do I really have to hear this?
<PacifistOgre> It say to Lunk that nagas want wreck bout
<PacifistOgre> boat
<@Arakkoa> What nagas again?
<PacifistOgre> Under
<PacifistOgre> They under Lunk in boat
<@Arakkoa> Well, get rid of them!
<PacifistOgre> Okay
<PacifistOgre> How?
<@Arakkoa> Well, I would probably kill them.
<PacifistOgre> No, Lunk no kill!
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, I know that.
<@Arakkoa> I’m just saying… get rid of them somehow.
<PacifistOgre> Okay.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk go talk to them.
<PacifistOgre> Bye
<PacifistOgre> See you later.
* PacifistOgre (lunk14@ogresite.com) has left
<@Arakkoa> Uh
<@Arakkoa> That went smoother than expected.
<@Arakkoa> And the penguin won’t even know that was always my plan.
<@Arakkoa> MWAHAHAHA
<@Arakkoa> Ahem
* You have left channel #arakkoa (“Leaving”)

Lore character avatars for Twitter

Hakkar the Soulflayer

Spirit Healer (Anara?)

Kirrik the Awakened

Myzrael

Sironas

Dagg’um Ty’gor

Mal’Ganis

Prophet Skeram

Darius Crowley

Kvaldir

Mangletooth

Fat Long-Fat

Sunwalker Dezco

Leyara

Zul’jin

Or’kaos the Insane

Jelinek Sharpshear

Zalashji

Menrim’s Journal – Duskwood

After yesterday’s troubles in Stranglethorn, I continued up the Nazferiti River for a while until I encountered the bridge that links Duskwood and Westfall. Seeing the bridge I made my decisions and decided to continue further on foot. I tied my boat to a small tree stump under the bridge and protected it from thieves with a spell and then quickly took all my packages with me. Another man would probably be scared to go into this forest, but I’ve seen some things. I saw the Aspect of Death himself appear in the Neferset City to threaten us with his power. I’ve seen cities drowned in sand as an example for those would oppose the villain. Finally, I travelled through the South Seas recently and saw sky covered with evil energy of the Sha, I saw creations of a madman experimenting on living animals – I wasn’t going to be scared by a dark forest.

Menrim’s Journal – Stranglethorn Vale

We had no idea how outdated our maps of Stranglethorn area were. First and foremost, they appeared on my maps as one, contiguous zone and one of the first things I noticed upon approaching the mainland was a giant whirlpool located very close to the mouth of Nazferiti, splitting the area in two. As I would later learn, the two resulting areas are now called “Stranglethorn Jungle” and “Cape of Stranglethorn”. Once I was told a similar whirlpool in the region of Kalimdor known as Darkshore leads to an underwater cavern haunted by the ghost of a demon hunter. Alas, I was not willing to investigate and look for more kaldorei spectres and set my course towards the river. Swimming upstream on a boat this size can take quite an effort, so I put my full concentration on the journey.