Tag Archives: Spelljammer

Maiden Voyage of the ASJ Apexis

VerroakArtAvatarThere it was, at long last, our first ship completed. I know people doubted my reasons for building it. Like, yeah, I know we have rifts that transport us to planets in an instant, but transport is only one thing a ship can be used for. One thing is defense. Pirates did not find us yet, but when they do, having a ship throwing arcane fire at them will be invaluable. Also, transport. Yes, I know what I just said, but our orders can sometimes be pretty big, and other than using half of my porters to push a giant box, we can now use the ship to move the whole thing more easily. Sure, it costs quite a bit, but I figure the opportunities it gives us outweigh the costs. For the past few weeks, we’ve been building the ship and preparing everything it needed.

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Signing of the Gnadra Accords – RP Thread

Signing of the Gnadra Accords – Thread on the RP forum


Spaced out

Orkan-100I cannot pretend I understand what’s going on between my uncle and that ogre, Lunk. Apparently the ogre is popular in some circles for some zany adventures he goes on and the unusual for his race pacifism. In my timeline I never heard of him so I assume he was dead. It’s a brutal world out there and someone who refuses to kill likely did not survive for long. Well, this version of Lunk survives and even thrives, to a certain degree. I even saw two alter egos he donned – the eloquent “Professor Lunk” and “Fel-Breaker Lunk” who was still the same but with special powers. And despite all of that, he likes to constantly try his luck and dare even more ridiculous things every day. One of his obsessions is about going to the White Lady (to which he refers very eloquently as “the moon”), and for that purpose, he recently went off-world to Darfell.

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Character Profiles: Hwarnë

Hwarne

Name: Hwarnë oho’Wherr (pronunciation: ch-wahr-nee uhuh were, or /xwɑːɹniː ˈʌ̃.ʌ̃ wɜːɹ/ )
Race: Dohwar
Gender: female
Age: 39
Class: Rogue (subtlety)
Professions: jewelcrafting (only basic appraisal skills), engineering (elementary)
Religion: Golden Fire of Wawhira
Alignment (per D&D): Chaotic neutral
Traits (per CK2): greedy, slothful, wroth, proud, deceitful, craven, kind, paranoid

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Fake dragons and brains on legs

VerroakArtAvatarUsually when you call someone a dragon, it means they’re a large, flying, fire-breathing lizard. And when you call someone brain on legs it’s quite the opposite – you do not imagine an actual brain on actual legs. What my people found on Ivarind was of course the opposites of what they expected. I knew things about Ivarind ever since I contacted that Bolivia on Darfell. She sent me some information about her world, but so far it was only words on paper for me. When I had the Aperusei business dealt with, I started scouting Ivarind to see more of it on my own, or rather through the Eye of Terokk. And you know, Ivarind is a world that has never had contact with demons, so they were freaked out when they saw a floating eye on the streets. After some of that scouting I decided it’s time to send my nephew on a mission. Oh yeah, the nephew. I never wrote about him.

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Worlds of the Nether: Darfell

BigAhuoraTempI was asked to speak about my world, Darfell. I am greatly honored by such an offer but I have to say I am not a specialist in geography or history. I will not tell you where lie the lands of Hamakwana that the First Sleeper visited in search of his beloved. I will not tell you how many people live in Otoaara, or how large in square miles is the largest island on Darfell. But what I can do is tell you how it looks, sounds and feels. We do not have long traditions of written language and great epic books that chronicle everything that ever happened on our world. We do not write equations that describe the nature of life and existence. We are simple people, who live with what the world gave us, be it sea and stones, or the rich travelers from beyond. This is the account of how a darfellan sees his world.

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There’s too many gods of death

VerroakArtAvatarEveryone wants to be a god of death it seems. Why is that so? I don’t know about others, but I much prefer life. When you’re dead, you can’t taste things, or feel the soft, new nest underneath you. When you’re dead, you can’t expand your knowledge. So why there’s so many gods of death? I mean, think about it. Arthas, the Lich King, presented himself to the vrykul as a “death god”. His “best friend” Yogg-Saron of course had to suffix his already scary title of “Old God” with “of Death”. Now, DEATHwing decided his name doesn’t have enough death in it so he proclaimed himself an Aspect of DEATH. Even the squawking quilboar had an organization called “Death’s Head”. It seems that if you want to sound scary you have to put as much DEATH as possible in your names and titles. Coming soon: deathy death death of death (and death). And then there are these Xa’tac.

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Captain’s Log, Space Date 2456915

MatusManksCharacter: Captain Matus T. Manks of the Venture, boldly going where no gnome has gone before
The day began very usually. We read through the “nightly” shift’s mining reports and prepared for our work the following day. I must say living on a world tidally-locked to its sun can wreck one’s sense of time quite well. This red dwarf is stuck in eternal sunset and no matter when you wake up or when you go to sleep, you will always see the same amount of light, and our bodies are set to identify how tired they are by the amount of light in the environment. After spending a month on the duty of protecting the grav miners here, I find myself lying awake in bed for the whole time designated as “night” on our timetables, and then feeling completely tired for the whole “day”. But that was by far the least odd thing that happened to me yesterday.

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Revenge of Appendix Three: Giant Nether Hamsters

Continuing with more filler posts until the WoD alpha gets rolling again! This time we have another of my old “Revenge of Appendix Three” posts reposted here. I particularly enjoyed writing this one. The original text after the jump.

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I’m a squawking wonder-worker!

HwarneLet me tell you, I am never appreciated! Both under Maginor Dumas and Verroak Krasha I have done nothing short of a miracle. I’m a squawking wonder-worker, that’s what I am! I got the crazy old… vulture-parrot-owl thing terocones. Terocones! In Stormwind! Nobody sells the seeds these days! Do you have any ideas how much haggling it took to get someone to concede some cones? Do you know what I had to trade in? Gold. Okay, that wasn’t particularly odd, but terocones! And before Krasha placed the order, I didn’t even know what a terocone is. No spelljammer has ever reached this planet, we know literally nothing about this place, so we never heard of terocones.

Recently, after Krasha broke that harpy out of her cage and he had to evacuate to his own tower, I decided to follow him. Yes, he’s crazy and never appreciates me either, but at least he pays well. Because the cook he got at first was some dumb vegetarian ogre, they couldn’t eat any meat in the tower. So who do they go to? To ME, of course. And I bought a whole crate full of fresh Tel Abim Bananas. I had to WRESTLE a goblin for them. You think they’re short and weak? Well, not only they’re barely shorter than me, not only I have hollow, avian bones, the goblin was also packing heat (by which I mean some crazy fire-suit contraption worthy of a tinker gnome). He didn’t want to sell for my gold, so I wrestled him down, took apart the suit and THEN he sold the fruits. I also borrowed some apples.

That’s just two examples! I keep getting him some really rare things that I often have to go out of my way to purchase. Sometimes I even strike something lucky by complete accident – I thought I bought a crate of Ragveil and it turned out to be some “Chamaeleon Lotus” that is very, very rare and even considered extinct on this world. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love doing all those crazy and rare business deals. That’s what I was made for. But I could use some respect and appreciation for my efforts. Maybe one day, I’ll earn enough gold to build my own spelljammer and escape this world back to Kwanhi, the dohwar homeworld. But until that day, I’ll keep on working.

Addendum: I took to using the word “squawk” as a substitution for expletives, as Verroak Krasha tends to do. I must admit, there is something to the sound of it that I seem to like.

Addendum 2: Apparently there are tinker gnomes in this world, as well as mechagnomes, so maybe a spelljammer did reach this world a long time but perhaps it crashed and no one reported back – but it seeded some things.