Name: Ughul of Ihgaluk, known as the Cancer
Class: Shaman (elemental)
Religion: none, philosophical nihilist
Alignment (per D&D): Neutral Evil
Traits (per CK2): genius, scholar, diligent, patient, proud, deceitful, ambitious, arbitrary, cynical, leper, scarred
Tag Archives: Mogu
Name: Ughul of Ihgaluk, known as the Cancer
One would expect that when someone says “impossible”, it would send a pretty clear message – something that’s impossible cannot happen, ever. Unfortunately, people have come to use the word rather frivolously, and therefore there is a plenty of things that are apparently impossible, but still happen quite frequently. For instance, it’s impossible to grab a glass by just wishing it happened… but we have magic for that. On a more further out range of “impossible”, it’s impossible to kill an Old God – but it appears the Titans actually did kill at least one. Frequently, the real meaning of “impossible” is “it cannot happen, unless you throw enough magic at it”. And even that has limits – because some feats require such incredibly large amounts of magic constantly defying a persistent force of nature that it appears truly impossible. No one would have that kind of power, and if he did he would have more important things to do with it. One such truly impossible feat is what one of our Eyes of Terokk discovered – a ruined, uninhabitable world with a green sun.
Name: Yu Gwai
Age: About 15,000. Stopped counting a long time ago.
Class: non-standard Warrior (Arms, with cannon skills)
Professions: mining, blacksmithing, fishing
Religion: Tàitǎnjiào (mogu-specific Titan worship)
Alignment (per D&D): Lawful neutral
Traits (per CK2): strong, duelist, patient, honest, cruel, diligent, gregarious, zealous, just, content
Character: Emperor Chen Stormstout
Chen woke up with a loud yawn. He stretched around a bit and then just sprawled on his bed, unwilling to get up and get to his duties. He had duties now, as much as he hated that idea. After he accepted Shaohao’s nomination to become the new Emperor of Pandaria, he almost immediately began to regret that decision. All the formalities and everything he’s expected to do every day. The entire Pandaria has gone a bit out of rhythm with imperial duties due to lacking central leadership for ten thousand years, but Taran Zhu was quick to dig up all the protocol from Yaochi’s and Shaohao’s times. One of the first decrees Chen made was adjusting some of that protocol to be more… modern. Less time spent on passing judgments on every small thief in the Empire, and more time for beer. But no matter how would he change the protocol, he would not be allowed to continue sleeping.
The Titans have created a whole family of stone creatures, all of varying morphology as well as faculties. The core Titanic races are commonly mentioned as earthen, gnomes, vrykul, tol’vir and mogu. Most of these creatures have been discovered in multiple sites, including earthen in Uldaman as well as Ulduar, or tol’vir were found in Uldum and Ulduar (even though the Ulduar tol’vir were converted by Nerubians and then the Scourge into Obsidian Destroyers). However, some of those creatures are curiously found, at least presently, in only one of the sites. One such example are vrykul, of which there is little trace outside of Northrend, as well as mogu who appear only in Pandaria. But there is a theory that it’s not true, and finds of these races in other sites are simply missing. One of these could be the kvaldir, found commonly in the South Seas, possibly coming from a facility further south, perhaps even Uldaman, as well as the common among scholars theory of the Eastern Kingdoms Mogu.
What is happening on Azeroth lately? Did someone release some kind of pheromones into the air to distract all the mammals by making them squawk each other all day? It all started when a frost vrykul called Gretta appeared in my tower through one of the shipping portals. Apparently she’s some kind of arbiter in… some kind of vrykul blood sport? I don’t know, I don’t care about her. However, someone else cares about her too much. When she appeared, Yu Gwai immediately ordered her to return where she came from, but she refused, pursuing Arcanist Shazaad for whatever reason, so a fight broke out. And then the shouts turned from pained grunts to… a different kind of moans. Yeah, they started having sex. In the portal room in MY tower. The only reason I didn’t come in to immediately break it up was that I didn’t want to look at it. (Still a better love story than Twilight…)
My employer is rather eccentric, and his morality can be dubious, but he still possesses great knowledge and experience. Experience with things we would normally never learn about. He has been to another reality, another timeline, where things went differently. And there he saw something. He saw me. He saw Yu Gwai, King of the Free Mogu, one of the major players in Lei Shen’s ultimate downfall. And I know most say alternate realities are something we should not concern ourselves with, that our reality is the only one of importance, but I can’t help but think. About the things that could have been. About how my life could have transpired. About the things I could still do…
We found ourselves in a version of Stormwind far more diverse than we would guess. Cities were full of races delegated to be monsters normally. Furbolgs, arakkoa, mogu, even races that are part of the Horde were walking freely in a human city. Walking across the Gilnean District that took place of the park, we found a Worgen scholar and asked him for some details. Krasus was one of the first people I asked about, and the scholar was certain Krasus was an elven archmage of Dalaran who disappeared mysteriously some time during the Cataclysm – around the time he died in our timeline – and Rhonin was still the Grand Magus. Even more surprisingly, Broxigar was still alive and well, and an advisor to Warchief Dranosh Saurfang. All this pointed to the fact here they never went back in time. That resulted in some vastly different personalities… which apparently resulted in Alliance and Horde working together?
* BlackViperUldum (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined
<@Arakkoa> “Black Viper of Uldum”?
<BlackViperUldum> What? It’s a nickname.
<@Arakkoa> But “Black Viper of Uldum”?
<@Arakkoa> What does it even mean? Wait, I don’t want to know.
* Arakkoa gives voice to BlackViperUldum
<+BlackViperUldum> It is for the best.
* YuGwai (email@example.com) has joined
<@Arakkoa> Oh, you. I didn’t know you knew how to use these things.
<YuGwai> I know many things you would not expect.
* PacifistOgre (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry Lunk late Lunk connect wrong channel
<@Arakkoa> I didn’t say I need you here necessarily.
<PacifistOgre> It okay Lunk often un neseccairly
<+BlackViperUldum> Oh, Lunk. That’s a surprise.
<YuGwai> Yeah, the ogre that just ran off despite having a job.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry Lunk hard soul
<@Arakkoa> A what again?
<+BlackViperUldum> I think he means “an uneasy soul”.
<@Arakkoa> Great, now I need to translate him from Common to Common.
<@Arakkoa> Correction: I always needed to translate him from Common to Common.
<+BlackViperUldum> I believe the formal term is Low Common.
<PacifistOgre> Low Common no longer cannon it from book
<@Arakkoa> Okay, let’s get on our topic. Where’s Hwarne? I need her now.
<+BlackViperUldum> I’ll try to get her here.
* Hwarne (email@example.com) has joined
<Hwarne> What the squawking squawk is up with this network?
<Hwarne> It wouldn’t let me put “ë” in the name.
<PacifistOgre> Hey penguin
<@Arakkoa> Glad to see you to, Hwarne. You seem well.
<Hwarne> I’m not squawking well. This squawking thing won’t let me put my proper name in.
<+BlackViperUldum> It is pointless to dwell on now.
<Hwarne> And don’t call me a penguin.
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, Menrim’s right. Let’s get to the topic.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry
<@Arakkoa> GET TO THE TOPIC
<PacifistOgre> Lunk sorry
<@Arakkoa> Stop saying sorry!
<+BlackViperUldum> What mr. Krasha is saying is we need to acquire certain technology.
<@Arakkoa> We found some blueprints with Menrim.
<@Arakkoa> Blueprints for a golem my people used to build long ago.
<PacifistOgre> Small snail say Lunk big snail is daddy
<@Arakkoa> Lunk, concentrate
<@Arakkoa> But we need a special power core to power it.
<@Arakkoa> They don’t make these kinds of power cores anymore, and sindorei one didn’t work.
<@Arakkoa> What the squawk are you doing?
<PacifistOgre> Lunk is concentrating
<@Arakkoa> But why are you typing “hnnng”?
<PacifistOgre> That what you type when concetranting no?
<PacifistOgre> So what you type when cocentrating?
<@Arakkoa> Nothing. You stay quiet.
<YuGwai> Do I really need to be here?
<Hwarne> CAN WE GET BACK ON TOPIC
<@Arakkoa> Yes, we can. Shut up.
<@Arakkoa> Where was I?
<Hwarne> It’s literally a few lines above your current one.
<@Arakkoa> I said shut up.
<@Arakkoa> So we need an arakkoa golem’s power core.
<@Arakkoa> The sindorei one clearly didn’t work.
<YuGwai> I can still feel the smell of that one from the basement.
<@Arakkoa> I thought you didn’t want to be here.
<YuGwai> Do I have to leave then?
<@Arakkoa> No, it’s the gronn’s shift now.
<Hwarne> GET BACK TO THE TOPIC
<@Arakkoa> I’m the moderator here, Hwarne.
<@Arakkoa> I thought we could use the power core from an Eye of Terokk
<+BlackViperUldum> That was actually my idea.
<@Arakkoa> Yes, yes.
<@Arakkoa> But I have only one, and there are very few of those left.
<Hwarne> And you want me to buy one.
<@Arakkoa> I didn’t say anything.
<Hwarne> But you were about to.
<PacifistOgre> Can Lunk speak now?
<@Arakkoa> To both of you.
<@Arakkoa> So I need to acquire another Eye of Terokk.
<Hwarne> And you want me to get it.
<@Arakkoa> I said NO
<@Arakkoa> You can’t buy one of those anywhere. They’re so bloody rare.
<+BlackViperUldum> I bet you could find one on the Black Market.
<@Arakkoa> Those things are pretty much legendary these days.
<@Arakkoa> What makes you think you could find one on the Black Market?
<+BlackViperUldum> I heard someone say he bought a Plagued Proto-Drake mount from the Black Market.
<@Arakkoa> I wasn’t speaking of that kind of Black Market.
<+BlackViperUldum> But I was.
<+BlackViperUldum> Look, I’m saying these pandaren have all kinds of weird things to sell.
<YuGwai> Like grubs they eat. Yuck.
<@Arakkoa> Hey, grubs can be pretty tasty if prepared correctly.
<YuGwai> Nope. Who eats grubs?
<@Arakkoa> I do.
<YuGwai> I mean apart from Pandaren
<+BlackViperUldum> I did hear some good recipes for grubs.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk have some grub recipes
<PacifistOgre> Grubs best well roasted
<PacifistOgre> It lot of protein
<PacifistOgre> But you no kill grubs!
<@Arakkoa> No, I’m sure we’d just find them lying around dead.
<Hwarne> OH MY GODS
<@Arakkoa> How does that even work with you? So are you a vegetarian or not?
<PacifistOgre> veggy tarian? Lunk know what veggy but not remember tarian
<+BlackViperUldum> It means you only eat food of plant origin.
<+BlackViperUldum> Or mushrooms, I guess.
<@Arakkoa> I’m asking if you eat meat
<PacifistOgre> If it good
<@Arakkoa> But you know you have to kill animals to get meat?
<+BlackViperUldum> You do. How would you extract meat from a living animal?
<YuGwai> I bet I could do that.
<Hwarne> I’m going to get out of my own skin and stand next to myself.
<+BlackViperUldum> That’s gross
<+BlackViperUldum> Both of you
<PacifistOgre> But if you not kill animal
<PacifistOgre> If it just dead not killed
<PacifistOgre> Maybe then you get meat?
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, good luck with that.
<Hwarne> SERIOUSLY PEOPLE
<+BlackViperUldum> So you eat carrion?
<PacifistOgre> Carri… it not TV show?
<+BlackViperUldum> I mean you eat only meat from animals that died naturally.
<PacifistOgre> Yea that sound rite
<@Arakkoa> Either way, we don’t need to concern ourselves with that anymore.
<Hwarne> YOU GOT ME
<@Arakkoa> The tuskarr cook is doing everything any of us could desire.
<Hwarne> I’M GOING TO GO AND BUY THE SQUAWKING EYE OF TEROKK AND GET IT HERE
* Hwarne (firstname.lastname@example.org) has left
<@Arakkoa> What was that about?
<+BlackViperUldum> I think he got angry with our discussion being off-topic.
<@Arakkoa> What were we talking about again?
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, but before that.
<YuGwai> So food.
<@Arakkoa> Oh, yeah, the power core.
<@Arakkoa> I guess he’s buying it now?
<+BlackViperUldum> It would seem so.
<@Arakkoa> Anyone needs anything else with me?
<+BlackViperUldum> No. I would want to return to my duties now.
<@Arakkoa> Fine, go.
<+BlackViperUldum> Till next we meet.
* BlackViperUldum (email@example.com) has left
<@Arakkoa> Which is in five minutes.
<YuGwai> I’ll be going as well.
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, go do your… turtle business.
* YuGwai sighs
* YuGwai (firstname.lastname@example.org) has left
<PacifistOgre> Snail really talk to Lunk
<PacifistOgre> It some time talk in funny language
<@Arakkoa> Do I really have to hear this?
<PacifistOgre> It say to Lunk that nagas want wreck bout
<@Arakkoa> What nagas again?
<PacifistOgre> They under Lunk in boat
<@Arakkoa> Well, get rid of them!
<@Arakkoa> Well, I would probably kill them.
<PacifistOgre> No, Lunk no kill!
<@Arakkoa> Yeah, I know that.
<@Arakkoa> I’m just saying… get rid of them somehow.
<PacifistOgre> Lunk go talk to them.
<PacifistOgre> See you later.
* PacifistOgre (email@example.com) has left
<@Arakkoa> That went smoother than expected.
<@Arakkoa> And the penguin won’t even know that was always my plan.
* You have left channel #arakkoa (“Leaving”)