Character Profiles: Lunk

Art by Ron Spears for WoW TCG

Name: Lunk, of Dustbelcher Clan
Race: Ogre
Gender: male
Age: about 30
Class: insists it’s Culinarian
Professions: cooking, archaeology, keeps randomly dropping and reacquiring various other professions
Religion: Lunk will pray to the closest available god because he’s not sure they’re always in range.
Alignment (per D&D): Chaotic Good
Traits (per CK2): genius, slow, kind, charitable, content, arbitrary, humble, gregarious

Place of residence: No permanent place of residence, although has his hearthstone set at Tower of Krasha.
Friends and associates: Lunk is quick to call almost anyone friend.
Romantic partners: Doesn’t want to catch cooties
Pets: An albino rylak from Shadowmoon Valley, a red hydra from Talador, a crocolisk from Wetlands and a number of short-time pets he forgot in various zones
Mounts: Kody the kodo, as well as aforementioned albino rylak
Known languages: Common and Orcish… such as it is
Most important value: Fun

Describe your character’s relationship with their mother or their father, or both. Was it good? Bad? Were they spoiled rotten, ignored? Do they still get along now, or no?

Lunk’s dad, Grog, meanie. He say Lunk to hit other ogres when Lunk small but Lunk not want to. He call Lunk weak and dumb. Mom not mean. Mom understand Lunk and tell stories of Lunk’s grandpa Guh who pacifist too. But then mommy go to heaven and dad say Lunk start kill other ogres or Lunk leave house. Lunk choose to leave house. Lunk still love dad cuz it dad and Lunk write letters to dad some times but dad never write back.

What are your character’s most prominent physical features?

Lunk no kill. Oh, physical. It not same psychical? Then Lunk has horn and two eyes and… Lunk not sure what promiment.

How vain is your character? Do they find themselves attractive?

Lunk is not vein. Lunk is ogre. Lunk has veins in skin but Lunk is not vein. Lunk not sure if attractive but bird-man say Lunk attract trouble so Lunk think so.

What’s your character’s ranking on the Kinsey Scale?

Lunk not know Mr. Kinsey. Is he dragon? Or maybe lizard-man from Pandaria? Lunk never see his scale.

Describe your character’s happiest memory.

When Lunk help friends in Searing Gorge learn to not kill and still get stuff done.

Is there one event or happening your character would like to erase from their past? Why?

Lunk want dad to under stand Lunk. Maybe if Lunk make dad under stand that erase.

What’s your character’s favorite ice cream flavor? Color? Song? Flower?

Lunk love alot of ice creams! Chocolate or strawberry or peach or pine apple or normal apple or all at once!
Lunk think red color look good on Lunk.
Lunk not remember name, Lunk bad with names, but Lunk remember it go like… na-na-na-na-na-na… or la-la-la… Lunk not sure.
Alot of flowers pretty. Hard to choose.

Who does your character trust?

Lunk trust bird-man cuz bird-man take Lunk and not get too angry and just yell and not hit or call dumb.

Can you define a turning point in your character’s life? Multiples are acceptable.

Lunk turn every time Lunk change where Lunk go. There many turning points. Lunk not remember most. Lunk just take one hour ago to sit down.

Is there an animal you equate with your character?

Lunk like kodos cuz they big, nice to touch and they loyal too.

How is your character with technology? Super savvy, or way behind the times? Letters or email?

Thru years Lunk use Twitter alot. So Lunk think Lunk pretty good with technology. What this button do?

What does your character’s bed look like when he/she wakes up? Are the covers off on one side of the bed, are they all curled around a pillow, sprawled everywhere? In what position might they sleep?

Lunk sleep in bed rare, but when Lunk do it go every where but bed. Cover Lunk mean. Cover go off on adventure when Lunk sleep.

How does your character react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?

Lunk react to cold and warm by put cloths on.

Is your character an early morning bird or a night owl?

Lunk is not bird-man. Lunk is ogre.
*half an hour of explanations later* It depend if it morning or night.

Are there any blood relatives that your character is particularly close with, besides the immediate ones?

Lunk is not close to relative. Lunk is traveling so all relative far away.

What’s your character’s desk/workspace look like? Are they neat or messy?

Lunk has no desk. Work space? Lunk only know outer space. It all black and empty so Lunk think it neat.

Is your character a good cook? What’s their favorite recipe, whether they’re good or not? (Microwave mac-and-cheese applies.)

Lunk very good cook. Lunk know recipes from many worlds. Lunk even make meat with out kill animal.

What’s your character’s preferred means of travel?

By foot cuz you see more stuff when you walk all slow and look around.

Does your character have any irrational fears?

Lunk only fear Lunk one day get hit in head and Lunk no longer Lunk. Lunk ones become professor and be smart but still Lunk so Lunk lucky but maybe one day not lucky and Lunk not want that to happen.

What would your character’s cutie mark be?

Lunk like what Applejack has cuz she orange like Lunk.

If your character could time travel, where would they go?

Lunk think Lunk time travel right now, even diagonal. Diagonal time travel work like this: you go back and you go side ways, or other way around. It where not past Draenor is cuz it other time line but it not same year but back year.

Is your character superstitious?

No, but Lunk think Lunk meet Super Stitious. He fly around Kalimdor and save people.

What might your character’s ideal romantic partner be?

Lunk answer that when Lunk ready.

Describe your character’s hands. Are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby?

Lunk’s hands big cuz Lunk is ogre. Lunk not sure if long? Lunk think fat cuz Lunk fat.

Second day of favorites! Favorite comfort food, favorite vice, favorite outfit, favorite hot drink, favorite time of year, and favorite holiday.

Comfort food is what Lunk eat when Lunk in comfort. That can all sort of things.
Vice is not good! Lunk has no favorite with that.
Lunk like when Lunk wear mage weave robe even tho Lunk step on it and fall over.
Hot drinks not good. They hot and burn face. Lunk prefer when drink cool.
Summer! Cuz alot of sun and not need wear alot.
Winter Veil cuz every one happy and snow is pretty. Can Lunk take back on favorite time of year?

Describe your character’s fighting style.

Lunk not fight. Cuz fight lead to anger. Anger lead to kill. Kill lead to dark side.

If your character’s life was a genre, what would it be?

Comedy. Lunk tell alot of jokes.

How does your character smell? Do they wear perfume or cologne?

Lunk think Lunk smell like ogre. Lunk not wear perfume. They smell nice but Lunk forget to use it and then sit on it and bottle break and Lunk’s butt all smelly.

If your character could contact him/herself 20 years ago, what would she/he say?

Have fun.