Character Profiles: Ballough Hammerkeg

Name: Ballough Hammerkeg
Race: Dwarf
Gender: Male
Age: 96
Class: Warrior (fury)
Religion: Holy Light
Alignment (Per D&D): Lawful Neutral
Traits (per CK2): strong, honest, gregarious, trusting, content, duelist

The Titanic Mystery

We were recently contacted by a pirate from K’aresh, who promised to tell us about a world containing an untouched Titanic vault, in exchange for some goods. We of course suspected this offer from the very start. Not only there’s a question of why didn’t he open and plunder it himself, but also if it really is as good as he claimed. In the end, I was sent off to meet him on Darfell with a crate of potions that only Azeroth produces. To my surprise, it wasn’t an ethereal but an emaciated humanoid in your typical pirate gear, with some kind of raccoon/monkey hybrid on his shoulder (I’m told it’s called a chattur). Apparently one of the few fleshy survivors of the cataclysm that ruined K’aresh, this “corporeal” claimed he’s only giving us the address because getting to the loot is too expensive for him. I decided it would be worth to at least check out, paid our due and left with the necessary information.

Blast from the Past

Sometimes I wonder if being so apathetic to world-threatening villains really pays off. I mean, the general idea is that if I leave them alone, they leave me alone and maybe I can profit from both sides. Usually that wouldn’t work only on villains that are bent on world-destruction, like the Burning Legion or the Scourge. So when there are issues like “that angry mogu from legendary times” or “a bunch of bored orcs”, you expect them to just pass you by or make business with you. Take those satyrs that have been acting up in Kalimdor – they’re good customers. But this Iron Horde? These people are jerks. And they’re your regular mortals too, they just don’t know who to leave alone. So what did they do when they saw my tower? They decided to attack on sight. Are signs of civilization offensive to orc sensitivity or something?

Of Dwarves and Perverted Mammals

What is happening on Azeroth lately? Did someone release some kind of pheromones into the air to distract all the mammals by making them squawk each other all day? It all started when a frost vrykul called Gretta appeared in my tower through one of the shipping portals. Apparently she’s some kind of arbiter in… some kind of vrykul blood sport? I don’t know, I don’t care about her. However, someone else cares about her too much. When she appeared, Yu Gwai immediately ordered her to return where she came from, but she refused, pursuing Arcanist Shazaad for whatever reason, so a fight broke out. And then the shouts turned from pained grunts to… a different kind of moans. Yeah, they started having sex. In the portal room in MY tower. The only reason I didn’t come in to immediately break it up was that I didn’t want to look at it. (Still a better love story than Twilight…)

Finding his place

Well, well, I haven’t written on this myself for a while now. Partially because there wasn’t much happening. Actually, now that I think of it, there were things happening. Not all of them I can recall at moment’s notice, such is my memory at my age, but most recently I decided I needed to exert some more direct control over this rift. I mean, I now have some interest in the Draenor I could find on the other side and the exit suddenly drifting away from it would be most unfortunate. So against my better judgment, I decided to use the services of an ethereal I knew, Shazaad, to find a way to control the rift better.